In a world with many differing opinions, there’s not one way to please everyone. In fact, if you’re trying to change yourself with the intention of making others like you, you are most likely already fighting a losing battle. When deciding who you are, choose to honor yourself and be the person you want to be. If you choose to be someone you respect, you won’t need to worry about what others think. Just do YOU!
Just Do You
If we’ve learned anything in this age of technology, it’s that everyone has an opinion. Not to mention, the ability to hide behind a keyboard and monitor means that dishing it out comes easier to most. As long as we can remember that the opinions of others are just that — THEIR OPINIONS — and not facts, we can move on. The thoughts or beliefs of others on how you should run your life or what their perception of truth is does not have to become your reality. As the song says, “Let it go.” While we’re at it, here are a few others things to remember about pleasing others.
One Size Doesn’t Fit All
There is ABSOLUTELY no way you can always live up to everyone’s expectations. It’s simply never going to happen. There are so many ways to be as a person, and trying to please others is like trying to chase every person in a game of tag at the same time. You will only frustrate yourself and run yourself ragged. People will either naturally be drawn to you or run the other way. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea (nobody is), but there is someone out there who believes you are wonderful the way you are. Don’t chase after those that don’t like you as YOU. You deserve real relationships with superficial motives.
Determine Your Goals
Do you want to be authentic to yourself, but aren’t sure where to start? This is a problem for many people. All you need to do is sit down and begin writing your goals. From there it will flow out of you. Write your dreams, your passions, and the goals you have for your future. Take some time to make goals for your life and you will find the real “you” falling into line. Stick with people that help encourage you to achieving those goals and start far away from toxic people who drag you down. You have every right to stand up for yourself.
Life is Too Short
Funny story. The last “friend” that walked out of my life after a disagreement I had with another “friend” said this when trying to get me to forgive the other person. Guess it was too short to keep me in it. But that’s okay, life doesn’t last forever. When you are figuring out where all the pieces of your life fit in, remember it won’t be there forever. Be who you truly are, and don’t deprive yourself or those around you of your true self for another moment. Make the best use of every moment, living in an authentic way. Again, walk away from negative relationships. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
Nobody is perfect, and sometimes you may struggle being the person you want to be. (I do this almost daily). Being genuine doesn’t mean being perfect, though, and you don’t need to hold yourself to an unattainable standard. Drop the self-judgement you may be tempted to hold on to, and forgive yourself if you fall. Don’t allow the “punishment” set down upon you by others to keep you from the freeing decision to forgive yourself and move forward.
There may be times when it feels like no one around you is concerned about you. Because of this, it’s important to be your own fiercest advocate. Love yourself and others will follow. Whether you believe it or not, there are people out there that love you. Reach out to those that support, uplift and empower you. Those are the people that can remind you that you are loved and deserve to love yourself.
Just as you must remain true to yourself, so must the others in your life. You don’t have an obligation to change yourself to suit someone else — and neither do they. Allow others the freedom to live their lives and be true to themselves and you will find even more peace about your own journey. It goes back to where we started: JUST DO YOU. Don’t worry about everyone else.
Being yourself is not always the easiest thing to begin with, but it gets more and more fulfilling as time goes on. As you change to outwardly become the person you are inside, things will fall into place in every way. Be who you are, not who others think you should be, and you will always respect yourself. Choose happiness with yourself and watch happiness flow from your life.