Since Colby and I are pretty much together 24/7, people often ask how we keep the romance alive. There is some belief that we must get tired of each other and need to get away. Honestly, even after almost 23 years with this man, I simply cannot get enough. He always has me begging for more of him. I love him without end.
Ways to Romance Your Husband
Let me first say, we do not always have it all together, but we do our best to create a loving marriage for each other. Basically, we not only “play husband and wife online, but we put on a pretty good show in real life as well.” Ask our kids. They obviously spend more time with us than anyone else. One thing I said I wanted to pass on to my children was the ability to love without boundaries. Passionately and deeply. Forever. Together, Colby and I working on creating that legacy of love for ourselves and our children. And it’s really not that hard to do… but does indeed require work.
Here are a few tips from my side of the marriage… considering it’s the side I know best.
- Love him. Simple as that. I have said it before and will continue to say it, “Love is a verb.” It is a choice that you make each and every day upon waking. There may be times when I tell Colby that he is “not my best friend” but I assure you my love never stops. I even tell my children when I upset with them that I still love them even though I am unhappy with the situation. Love is powerful and “… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)
- Hold his hand. In public. At home. Wherever and whenever you have the opportunity. I still remember the very first time Colby put his hand on my leg with other people around. It sent chills all over my body. His touch still has that effect on me. This one simple gesture is a reminder that I choose him. I hold him close. He is mine.
- Flirt. All day. Send him a seductive text. Whisper sweet-nothings in his ear. Wink at him from across the room. Leave love notes on the bathroom mirror, in his pocket, on the fridge… wherever you think he may find them. I tell Colby his “love potion” is wearing off so I have to refill it with more by flirting at various times through the day. Most days, it is pretty much non-stop. Try it.
- Serve his needs. Okay, so no need to be his slave. I simply mean to think about what his needs are. What you believe he would appreciate you doing for him. Whether it is taking out the trash for him, cooking his favorite meal, or ironing his shirt for an important meeting. Try to think about ways you can make his day better before he can ask you to assist him.
- Thank him. This may sound mundane or trite but a simple “thank you” still goes a long way. Knowing that you appreciate even the smallest things he does for you gives him a sense of accomplishment and feeling of respect. Most men feed on both. He needs to know you need him and value what he does for you.
- Steal a kiss… often. Walk by and pause for a gentle touch of the lips. If he is busy, don’t hesitate to stop and leave a soft peck on his head, neck, cheek… leaving more for later. Catch him unaware and plant a lingering kiss on him. One kiss can often change an entire day if planted properly.
- Dress for him. I must admit, this is one I struggle with. Get out of your pajamas or comfy clothes and get dressed up every once in a while. Step out of “mom-mode” and step into enchanting wife mode. Remind him that you still have it going on (although I am sure he remembers well).
- Compliment his body. As much as you desire reassurance that he is attracted to you, he needs to know the same. Tell him how much you desire him. Remind him, as well as yourself, what first attracted you to him.
- Listen to him. I know, guys do not need to talk it out as much as we women do. But, there are times when he may just need you to listen. So, make sure you have your ears open, mouth closed, and attention to give him. Communication is key in any marriage. Believe me, we learned the hard way!
- Make love often. C’mon! You knew that sex had to come into the equation somewhere. After all of the romancing, this is what we are making our way up to. There is an intimacy found in making love with your husband that is both incredible and fulfilling. He knows you want him because of the flirting, kissing, touching, and wanting you have shown him throughout the day. Now, put all of that into action. Passionately love him and savor the love that you can both make together.
What are you waiting for? Get over there and show your man you love him. Oh, and don’t tell me that there is no time for any romance after having kids. We have 5. They did not come all at once. In fact, our oldest will be 19 soon and our youngest will be 5. There was obviously plenty of time for romance after that first one. I even have 51 cheap date ideas for parents to give you some ideas.
No excuses. Love your man and expect the same from him.