Being able to attend a Chris Daughtry concert last Friday was amazing. It was mine and Colby’s first non-Christian concert in over 10 years. The music was loud, the beats were hard, and yet God was still glorified through the songs. So, I was thrilled to be there and we loved the music. Each band put on a really great show and we enjoyed singing and “moving along” to the songs we knew.
I had already warned Colby that I would most assuredly cry when Daughtry sang, “Home.” This song will forever hold a special place in my heart. Only a few days after finding out we had miscarried, we were driving down the highway when “Home” came on the radio. Already somber, I held my stomach and cried. I knew my baby was home.
Home in a better place. Home… preparing a place for when we arrive.
That brought me some solitude in the moment.
So, I knew that hearing the song in person would be emotional.
What I did not expect was for Daughtry to sing a new (to me) song. I do not listen to mainstream music very often and did not know what was coming. The instant I heard the title I began to tear up. As the words flowed out of Daughtry’s lips so did the tears from my eyes. I hung on every word. Each one spoke the thoughts my heart whispers every day.
Gone Too Soon
These lines encompassed my memories:
Who would you be?
What would you look like
When you looked at me for the very first time
Today could’ve been the next day of the rest of your life.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
I’m always asking why this crazy world had to lose
Such a ray of light we never knew
Gone too soon, yeah.
I came home and immediately began to research the song. Had Daughtry’s wife suffered a miscarriage? How did he know the pain I felt? The emotions that swell inside of me. How did he know?
After reading I discovered that he wrote the song after a friend’s daughter lost her baby. He penned the sorrow and the mourning. And then, when he read the words later he saw his brother’s raw emotions overflow. He then found out his sister-in-law had suffered a miscarriage and Daughtry never knew. (please note: this is all based on several accounts I read online so I apologize if you may have heard differently)
Miscarriage is often taboo to discuss or women simply choose not to talk about it. The pain. The guilt. Whatever it is, it is real and it hurts. I never knew how many women had lost babies the way that I had… until I was walking it. Then I had friends comfort me because they knew my pain. They understood.
And, after reading the story behind the song I began to ponder something. I did a quick search of my blog and discovered that it was 5 years ago on Monday (1/28) that I announced my pregnancy with Reagan, our angel baby. 5 years since I was in shock that I was even pregnant again. Praying that God knew what He was doing giving us 5 children.
Then just a few short months later when I was back to announce that I had lost the baby. And it was at that point that my blog… my life… pretty much shut down for a bit.
But, I have moved on. Another miscarriage. A successful pregnancy. A healthy baby. And, now, a thriving 3 year old later… I consider it a joy to have an angel waiting in Heaven for me.
Here is a raw video Colby captured of the song since he thought he was going to be recording, “Home” and Daughtry sang “Gone Too Soon” instead.