Job Title: Mom, Mother, Mommy, Momma
Location: Your home, local store, inside your vehicle, from within the bathroom, anywhere really
Hours: You will start at the time of conception and continue through always
Reports To: Your kids, from 1 to all
Job Summary: This job does not follow any set office hours and requires your immediate attention at all times. There is very little, if any, downtime for several years and the unity and flow of the family unit relies solely on your responsibilities involved. You will be on-duty or on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Requirements:
- Must be able to sit in a car for hours on end while driving from activity to appointment to school to activity to friend’s home to activity
- Must be able to pay bills, make shopping lists, organize a calendar, and quite a toddler all while handling a busy phone line
- Must be a short order cook as well as an established chef for unexpected dinner parties
- Must be prepared to run a daycare for not only your own children but every working mother’s child who is in need of child care when school is out or their child is sick and they have no one else… since you are home with your child anyways
- Must know the in-and-outs of basic first aid as well as be able to diagnose every known childhood disease, rash and illness simply by looking at the child
- Must remember every emotion from childhood and adolescence to offer advice, love, guidance and care to children and teens as their emotional well-being will need it
- Must keep a tidy home with clean clothes and spotless rooms, not to mention well manicured children that are spotless from head-to-toe and well groomed at all times
- Must know every subject from every grade starting in Kindergarten and continuing straight through to college to tutor and assist whenever necessary
- Must be able to keep score both realistically and figuratively without choosing sides
- Must be able to go, quite possibly, without any real adult interaction other than a passing glance from your spouse as he comes in to assist for a few hours in the evening
- Must have excellent CEO skills as you will become the glue of your family unit, holding everything together as you work to make sure all above mentioned jobs are performed to the best of your ability and on the best possible calendar you can keep
- Must be able to work with minimal sleep, scraps from your prepared meals, and an occasional shower when possible
Compensation: Other than an impromptu, “Thank you, Mommy!” or a swift kiss and hug as they run out the door, a cuddle as they sit on your lap, a smile from across the room, or a simple, “I love you” just because… their will most likely be no monetary compensation. Yet, the reward is greater than any other and can not be matched.
Experience: None needed… it all comes in time
**Disclosure: I am writing this post as a contest entry for Loveable Labels Blogher ’11. The prize includes a round trip flight to San Diego, hotel stay at Marriott Hotel & Marina, full conference pass and more for 2. Enter your own blog submission or read others at the Lovable Labels contest page. **
About Staci
Love the requirements–I can certainly relate! I especially like, “be able to diagnose every known childhood disease, rash and illness simply by looking at the child”. Good luck to you in the contest.
Thank you so much! And that “rash thing” was needed this week as my younger 2 came down with viral infections that caused a rash all over their body! :/